Today was a beautiful sunny day. It was still cold but the sun always makes it better. More cheerful, especially when it has been so dreary for weeks here in Tennessee. We have had more snow and ice in the past couple of weeks than I have seen in the past five years that I have lived here. Not typical for this area. That's why I love living here. The weather is so mild compared to Illinois during the winter, which is where I grew up. Yes the sun always makes everything brighter, more enjoyable. This day, two years ago, for me, started out much the same way. Beautiful sunny day and it was a holiday so I didn't have to work-even better. My little sister had spent the night with me and we were going to spend the day shopping. But one phonecall changed it all. The phone rang and it was my dad crying on the other line. I knew something was terribly wrong. He could barely get out the words but my mother had passed away. My heart sank! How could this be? My world, our world had changed in an instant. I had to look my little sister in the eye and tell her that Mom was no longer with us! That was heartbreaking and almost unbearable! Life as I knew it was changing and changing fast. And so it has. Life has changed since that day. Someone once said that life after tragedy eventually goes back to normal but it is a new normal, not like it was before. This event in my life changed my life forever, in so many different ways. I miss my mom very much. It still seems like a dream that she is gone. Do I still have questions on why God allowed it to happen? Yes! My mom's illness was hard to understand(I will share more about this at another time). Over the past two years there have been many tears shed but this year I wanted to make a point of remembering the happy and fun times that we had together. What my mother stood for and how she loved people and oh how she loved to serve her savior, Jesus Christ. My mom was complicated in many ways but one thing I knew for sure was that she loved Jesus. That's really all she could talk about or cared to talk about. My dad sent an email to my siblings and I(I have 3 brothers and 1 sister) that I thought summed up what I was feeling. "I decided early this morning as I woke that we can choose how we will spend this day in memory of mom. We can dwell on her difficult passing and what this broken, sinfilled world stole from her and us, or we can celebrate the wonderful, beautiful person she was in her heart of hearts. The love she had for us and for others." I am choosing to celebrate who she was when she was well. I knew she loved me. And that is worth celebrating! Unfortunately we live in a fallen world where death and sadness touch us. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Some of the answers to my questions will not be answered until I meet Jesus face to face. One thing I do know is that Jesus loves me too. He died on the cross to save us, to give us a hope and a future(Jeremiah 29:11). I am confident that I will see my sweet mother again. The Bible gives us that HOPE.
"There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. If God is for us, who can be against us? Christ Jesus, who died-more than that, who was raised to life-is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, netither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to spearate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 8
Sweet memories will always follow me. I have so many things to be thankful for! Yes I will celebrate her life. How she lived and loved. Because it is not life that she lost but gained-eternal life!
Blessings,
Suzy
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